Sometimes I feel like that one, the little one, you know the one in the way back? The little duck at the end of that line, the one facing the other way, considering other options then crawling up the wall. The one deciding whether a different path would be easier or more challenging but safer, less hostile, easier?
And then sometimes I feel like that one in the front, you know the one who is taking charge and scaling the walls to find out 'what's next.'
However, more often then not I'm the one in the way back not sure whether to follow the path of least resistance because surely it was set-up for a good reason or
to form my own path or to form my own path for others to follow in.
Although this sounds like a completely benign, esoteric conversation. It is grounded in some reality or as real as reality gets these days. Recently a friend once again asked me to 'read her chakras'. I say again because this is the 3rd or 5th or 7th time that she has asked and I've been able to endlessly slip out of this task multiple times. Additionally, another friend called me up for Archangel advice. It's not that I can't read chakras, I'm learning to accept that I can. It's not that I don't talk/feel/see angels, I'm learning to accept that too. But....
The big part of me wants to be that duck in the back and just run the other way - maybe the road is safer than what is over that curb. But, in the end, I usual hide my insecurities and help them with their esoteric questions because let's face it I'm one of the only scientist that they know who is 'strange enough' to believe in all of this.
And then sometimes I fall so far into my head, I question if I'm strange enough to believe in all of this myself.....? Usually when I fall that far, I then get force
d out of my head and back into my spirit right quickly - I can't say this feels good exactly. But, at least I'm getting use to the jump.
Trying to hide and run is exhausting, but I attempt to do this anyways. You think in the past 5 years I would have learned at least part of this lesson. "Running from yourself is futile." - I wonder how long it will take me to digest this lesson completely....?
No comments:
Post a Comment